THE OSCARS' SOLIDLY AVERAGE LIST

By now, you have seen at least a dozen lists of best and worst dresses at the Academy Awards.  Yes, we all know that Emma Stone killed it in her Elie Saab stunner.  And, omg, how about Rosamund Pike's bod in that gorgeous Givenchy dress?  Reese Witherspoon, Margot Robbie…yada yada.  And like it or not, Lupita Nyong'o's pearls and Gaga's gloves got them lots of media attention.  I'd like to give some other Oscars-goers the spotlight for a moment.  Let's spend some time discussing those folks who looked just fine.  Middle of the road, if you will.  The Oscars' least noteworthy.

First up, Kristina Reed:

The winner for Short Film-Animated (Feast) looked nice.  Perfectly dressed for the Academy Awards.  A long, blue gown with some angles and ruching.  The straplessness and weird side point made it a little awkward, but overall, an absolutely fine choice.  I will note, in a rare moment of sheer pettiness, that she is wearing the same earrings she wore to the Oscars in 2013, when she was kicked out for throwing paper airplanes.

How about Laura Poitras?

Again, the CitizenFour director is appropriately dressed in a long, black gown.  Those padded cap sleeves and (is that a) mock turtleneck aren't my favorite, but the gloves are actually kind of edgy and cool, so they cancel each other out.  Good enough.

You may disagree with this, but…Julianne Moore:

I think an up-close shot of a small segment of this dress would be amazing!  Unbelievable detailing.  But the whole package is just pretty-ish.  Julianne Moore is a stunning woman, so I firmly believe the mediocrity falls on the dress.  Sorry, Karl.

And finally, (I love her so much it hurts to type) Patricia Arquette:

She is so awesome, isn't she?  Her speech was incredible, and I love that she cancelled her manicure appointment before the big event because she was too busy doing far more important, charitable work.  I love that she wore her reading glasses to read her (incredible) acceptance speech.  I love that she would be absolutely thrilled to end up on my "meh" list, because she has a healthy understanding of priorities and self-confidence.  But truly, her dress was absolutely unremarkable.  Not bad.  Not good.  The end.

And that concludes my list of the dresses-that-no-one-except-Joanna-is-talking-about.  Agree?  Disagree?  Let me know.

As a personal stylist in Richmond, VA, I strive to make wardrobe choices clear and easy for women who are short on time, overwhelmed by their closets, or transitioning from one period of life to another.  Let's connect!